The sun was already down before the anger came. It’s almost midnight. I’m tired, and very sad tonight. But tomorrow’s another day. I’m thankful for much…still holding on to those things in my mind…by a thread, but the thread’s still holding.
I’ve said it before…life is short and people ‘should’ deal with those they supposedly love accordingly. We should take more care not to let the circumstances around us that go awry bleed into the way we treat those around us. But we don’t always do that, do we? And me…I always somehow wind up with my feelings getting stomped on. I wish I didn’t have feelings. I wish I could turn them off and be cold and unfeeling. No…not really. I wouldn’t want to be like that, though sometimes it does seem like an attractive option to the pain.
But the pain will pass…the hurts will heal…sort of. You can never undo careless words, or careless disregard that you’ve shown for people you say you love. That’s the thing. You can apologize for them, and that really does help immensely when the apology is meant. But there’ll always be a scar left where words or unkindnesses have cut you.
It’s so hot in here with the A/C out. Traci and Grace have come to sleep downstairs tonight…too hot upstairs. I’m not going to sleep tonight. I’ll probably lie down when Traci goes to work in the morning. Maintenance should be here around 9 to fix the multitude of things that have suddenly decided to fall apart in the apartment. So I should have a few hours to rest before that, and then I have homework and housework to do. I wish maintenance could fix the broken spirit within me at the moment. But God will. I’m sad…I’m tired…but I will never lose hope in my God. This too shall pass.
Love and blessings,