Sweet little lies


First of all, this is not about anybody in particular…honestly.  So if you think it is, you’re wrong.  It’s an ‘in general’ thing on my mind today.  I don’t even really know how it got started in there, but something this morning sparked it and it’s been on my mind all day.

Now that I have that disclaimer out of the way…my fellow blogging friend Stephen at Life Revelation posted a blog awhile ago about lies in our society.  It does in fact seem to be something that has become more and more acceptable with people.  It’s always been true that people will tell ‘sweet little lies’ to avoid hurting someone, or to avoid confrontations sometimes too.  And politicians have pretty much always been pretty good liars for the most part, I would guess…even back before the media ran so rampant and exposed all those lies.  Everyone liesYes, I know that.  I have told lies in my lifetime…the ‘sweet little lies’ thing I was talking about, or when I was a child, lying to my mother sometimes.  But I can honestly say that I have never been a very good liar.  If you tell a lie, that makes you a liar.  That’s the truth.  That said, a person who tells certain, milder, sorts of lies, I wouldn’t hold up in the same way as a liar as a person who makes lying a way of life.  And there are people like that…they see nothing wrong with lying, and in fact see it as a strength…a smart way to be.

To be fair, sometimes those people think that way because they honestly believe it, due to misfortunes in their life, or ways that they were unjustly treated.  But it doesn’t change the fact that a lie is a lie, does it?

Okay, so I just ate some potato salad.  If I were to tell you I just ate some mashed potatoes, that would be a lie.  But wait…they’re both potatoes, so it’s not that much of a lie, right?  What if I thought it was mashed potatoes?  Would it still be a lie?  Well…probably not.  And in the end, a lie about whether you had potato salad or mashed potatoes is really totally unimportant in the scheme of things.  It isn’t a lie that would hurt anyone else in any way.

Okay, what about gossip?  What if someone tells you something about someone, and you have no reason to know that it’s not true, so you believe it?  Then you take that information and innocently pass it along to someone else.  Let’s say your intentions are totally above board and out of some sort of concern over the situation.  Is that still a lie?  Yeah!  It doesn’t matter how much you believe a lie, it’s still a lie.  And gossip…well, that’s another story anyway, but it can certainly be linked to the topic of lying because of this.  And that kind of ‘lie’ is very destructive.

I don’t know.  I am not perfect.  I will be the first to say I am not perfect and certainly, if you read my blog you know it without me saying it. Ha ha!  It’s evident.  But I am honest.  Wait though…how can I say that?  I have already told you that I have lied in the past.   In answer…I can say it because I do not lie now.  The most recent lie I told was some time ago, trying to be tough and to be like everyone else said you need to be just to survive in this life…and it about destroyed me, and I came clean about 5 minutes afterward.  I can’t lie, and I hate lies.  And what I’m saying is that while it doesn’t make me perfect, it is a strength, not a weakness.  Thinking you have to lie to get ahead…thinking it’s okay to pass on gossip that may or may not be true…and if it is true it’s probably only some variation of the truth anyway…those things can be very destructive, and that isn’t okay!

This is a real issue with me, because if someone lies to me, I can never truly trust that person again.  I don’t care who they are.  I can maybe ‘sort of’ trust them…but there will always be that little spark of wondering that remains at times.  And not only that, but people who live their life in lies, and who know and associate with others who do…they don’t trust either.  They’re always suspicious.

Yes, this is what you could call a ‘pet peeve’ of mine I guess.  But I see it as more than that.  I see it as something that has taken such hold in our society that it’s become okay with people…understood and accepted and overlooked.

Any thoughts about this?

 

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About Anne Sikes

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us." (2 Cor. 4:7) Sharing the journey through daily thoughts and struggles, examination of Scripture, poetry, music and art.
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20 Responses to Sweet little lies

  1. Okay Annie, lets go back up to where you wrote, “And in the end, a lie about whether you had potato salad or mashed potatoes is really totally unimportant in the scheme of things.” I would totally disagree with you. Yes at first glance it doesn’t look like much, but that is the problem. You can’t have just a little sex, and you can’t just lie a little.

    Take a look at the post I wrote entitled “The WSJ & I” (or something close to that, I don’t remember exactly what I called it, and I’m too hot on the trail here to go look it up). The guy who wrote the WSJ article said that we always want to stop the Bernie Madoffs, John Edwards, lying politicians, Goldman Sachs, Enrons, and all the other big dogs from ever being able to cheat us again, but what is killing us and our country/culture/society is all of the rest of us. Everyone (in the article he claims 98%) cheats a little. But the issue is when you have that many people cheating a little, it adds up to a whole lot.

    I think that holds true for lying…when we all lie a little, it adds up to a whole lot of lying…it eats away at our moral foundation…not a lot…just a little…but a whole lot of little adds up to one big stinking whole big bunch…and eventually the house falls down.

    Annie, I believe you know my heart, so if this seems like a rant, please forgive me. I would never want to give cause for any hurt toward you. But I am hopeful you will reconsider the potato salad/mashed potato issue again. If it seems like I am straining at gnats it is because gnat swarms can be so thick that birds can die of asphyxiation (completely unrelated science fact, but it kind of helps to prove my point…I think).

    And if you want to continue this out of view of the entire world (I know how many read your posts) my private email is stephenedwards922@gmail.com.

    Be encouraged!

    • Anne Sikes says:

      Point taken Stephen. You haven’t bothered me in the least with this. I appreciate your input very much. God bless you, and thanks! May want to talk further about it, after I think about it. Grace and I are getting ready to head out to church. — Anne

  2. Oh gosh Anne, I am such an idiot…I forgot to say thanks for referencing my blog…geesh I am worthless at times.

    Be encouraged!

  3. Lies lead to even more hurtful and even vile things..they are often just the beginning of a the proverbial web of deceit. I too have a very difficult time with lying..They have been I think a part of everyone’s life at one time or another..and you’re right it takes a long time to trust the offender again…It is by God’s grace that we are able to do so….Diane

    • Anne Sikes says:

      That’s true, Diane…all of what you said. I’m thankful for God’s grace and mercy where I’m concerned, that’s for sure. Especially on days like today. 🙂 Blessings –Anne

  4. lbtk says:

    My thought is that if you will lie about trivial things (if indeed they are trivial) then how far of a stretch is it to lying about important, potentially dangerous things? I’ve always told my kids that I’d rather know the whole truth from them. If I have to hear it from someone else, I am hurt and my trust for them would be changed. I have a friend who is teaching me that you can be honest with people about even the smallest things. If someone asks her to give an opinion that might be unpleasant for that person, she tells them to let her pray about it. She says God has never failed to give her the right words to say. It hasn’t always been easy and people have not always liked her answers, but they respect her. It has opened my eyes anew. Sandy

    • Anne Sikes says:

      I agree with this too Sandy. You don’t have to be cruel to people to be honest. And when I ask someone their opinion about something, I want an honest answer…certainly not for them to say nice things to me and then go tell someone else something awful! 🙂 But that doesn’t mean I want them to be hurtful to me about the way they say whatever it is. And sometimes it’s not what I’m hoping to hear…but if it’s the truth…that IS what I’m hoping to get. Thank you. Blessings –Anne

  5. lbtk says:

    P.S. Anne, what would you do if you found that someone who has been blogging as one kind of person is actually another kind of person? That what they’ve been blogging about is totally untrue? I haven’t encountered that yet, but it could conceivably happen, and probably does a lot. Sandy

    • Anne Sikes says:

      I’ve thought about this too…and yeah, there have to be people on here pretending to be one thing who are really something totally different. Well…just by the amount of that silly spam that comes, we know there is. But the spam is one thing…someone befriending you and pretending to be something totally different than they are is another altogether. What would I do? I’d send their stuff to the spam folder and certainly would ‘unfollow’ them. I don’t know how to really block someone from coming to your profile though. You’d think there would be a way to do that. But if there is, I don’t know how. –Anne

  6. Pink Ninjabi says:

    In Taylor Hartmans’, “The Color Code”, he indicates that everyone lies to a certain degree, but each for different reasons, i.e. to avoid embarrassing another, to save face, or to avoid consequences. The trick I guess, is in how often, how impactful, and how much damage it can cause to tell the truth. Gossip is definitely a separate category, and according to Social Cultural Anthropology, the roots of this is based on intimacy and social exchange, as well as an indirect way for someone to know if they are acting inappropriately. Unfortunately, both tools are now often weapons in today’s society, destroying much trust and friendship. Sad indeed.

    Pink.

    • Anne Sikes says:

      I wish it was just that people felt safe…and were safe to tell the truth always…regardless of the reaction. There will always be some people who just lie because they like to, I think. I don’t get it, but I do know those people exist. And there is a difference though from full disclosure, as in telling every little detail to people. You can be honest without telling all…especially where other people are concerned. And that is the one line I will draw. I won’t tell other peoples’ secrets. If it somehow affected me, and with permission, I will. And I have in terms of past secrets of my father, who is deceased and who will not in any way be affected negatively. And even there…I’ve done everything I could to NOT be trying to destroy him with the telling. I have a problem with tell all biographies of people for example.

      As for me, I talk a lot…but it’s regarding me, from my perspective, and my own feelings and responses or experiences. It is never my intention to be hurtful to anyone else in the telling. But still…some would say even the degree to which I do that is wrong. And there is a fine line there that can be easily crossed sometimes.

      Thanks Pink…Anne

      • Pink Ninjabi says:

        You’re an amazing writer, dance through your fingers onto words in a blog. Such symmetry in your art, lines, and words. Keep on letting it all out. It’s the best feeling ever. It helps us to analyze the true friends from the ones God wants to depart from us, for our own good. Great points. :D!

        Pink.

        • Anne Sikes says:

          Wow Pink! What an awesome compliment…talking about the words dancing through fingers there! 🙂 Thank you!! Blessings–Anne

          • Pink Ninjabi says:

            Awww.. thank you soo much. You’re kindness is inspiring. Especially after this morning in reading some hate pages towards Muslims, I remind myself not everyone is like this. There are kind Christians like you too. Thank you soo much. 😀

            Pink.

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