Just because a person is aging in numbers…doesn’t mean we don’t still crave that kind of love…the committed relationship and companionship, yes…but the ‘twitterpated’ feelings too. I’m feeling particularly sad and lonely tonight, and like I need to just accept and get used to the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be alone. I still crave that true love that keeps you warm even on the coldest night. I want to know what it’s like again…it’s been so long…since someone looked in my eyes even when I was tired and hair a mess…looked at me with that look that says, “You’re beautiful and I love you.” Someone who still thinks I’m beautiful with greying hair and age showing more and more. I’m being painfully honest right now. It’s one of my faults, some say. But there you go…where is that someone who will look past my faults rather than point them out to me…or maybe even not see them as faults but as strengths? So I will go on in the kitchen and cook dinner for my girls, who I know love me. No…it’s not the same. But I am thankful I have that right now. We’ll sit to dinner and talk about our highs and lows, and laugh. Then we’ll go to our corners and go to sleep. And tomorrow will be yet another day.

My Life Uncut...Almost

Love…probably the most craved thing by humans, and the most written about topic in songs and poetry.  I was thinking about that Clint Black song, “Something That We Do”…love that song.  One of the lines is, “Love isn’t someplace that we fall, it’s something that we do.”  I find this to be very true.

Except in the case of arranged marriages, which do still exist in places, love is usually based on physical or emotional attraction…really both a lot of the time, I think.  We’re looking for that feeling of being in love that overwhelms us and makes us feel all tingly and wonderful inside…what Thumper in “Bambi” called being ‘twitterpated’.   Being twitterpated is a wonderful feeling. 🙂  But true love is so much more than that.  When you really get down to it, within a committed relationship, there are just going to be times when that feeling isn’t there. …

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About Anne Sikes

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us." (2 Cor. 4:7) Sharing the journey through daily thoughts and struggles, examination of Scripture, poetry, music and art.
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6 Responses to

  1. lily says:

    Anne, I am sorry that you are feeling sad and lonely; I know those feelings too well and would not wish them upon anyone. I don’t think we (humans) are meant to be alone, and I certainly don’t want to be. Feeling romantic and unconditional love, trust and companionship, sharing good times and bad– these bring out the best of who I am. I have to believe that a loving God wants that for me, and for you. Keep your chin up. I’ll pray for you, and that your prince charming finds you. Cherish your children, meanwhile, and watch every chick flick that your future love will not care to watch. : ) Hugs, ~ Lily

    • Anne Sikes says:

      Thank you Lily. There’s this tendency, because I know of others who are suffering tremendously right now, to say to myself to just quit ‘whining’, etc. I think a lot of us do that. And I think it is healthy to look at our problems and realize we’re not alone…others have gone before us in the same situations, and/or are going through something worse. I’ve been through worse situations, truthfully. But I am grieving still…and that’s real. I think it’s wrong to diminish it in such a way that we tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel it at all.

      You’re not doing that, so that’s not in response to anything you’ve said. It’s just some more of my thought processes through this tonight. I honestly do okay a lot of the time. Just not tonight. Anyway, I appreciate your prayers and your kind words. Blessings –Anne

  2. You’re all set to accept that you will be alone for the rest of your life…hmmmmm wonder if the Lord sees it that way…We never know for sure what the future holds do we? Maybe you won’t have another ‘true love’ but if you don’t you’ll probably by the time you realize that fact won’t mind …maybe even be glad…BUT we can’t know for sure right? ..just some thoughts..Diane

    • Anne Sikes says:

      I know. You’re right…I don’t know what’s in store…just expressing how it looks and feels right now. One of those days I guess. 🙂 I think I’m gonna go to bed and sleep this mood off. LOL I’m actually doing a little better anyway. And in spite of these moments I have sometimes, I do trust Him. 🙂 Thanks Diane.

      • I know it’s just your mood…I was trying a little ‘shock therapy’ lol and I know of course that you trust him…Diane

        • Anne Sikes says:

          🙂 I know…and I didn’t take offense in the least. I do know not to let my emotions rule. But some days they’re harder to shake off. I was tired anyway from the heat, and then I saw something specific today that triggered the emotions. It’ll pass. I have survived SO much worse than this anyway, and God has taken a lot of it and made it look awesome in the end. I’ll make it through all this muck and mire too, and it’ll be interesting to see what He builds out of the mud. 🙂 Thank you again, my friend. –Anne

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