Maintaining Perspective Ain’t always easy

It’s one thing to hold your head up and persevere when the winds around you aren’t that strong.  But what about when you get sort of slapped down a bit harder…or a few more times? 

I am someone who has persevered in my life, and I will continue to do so.  I can assure you that I have dealt with plenty of adversity in my life.  But that doesn’t mean that I don’t get knocked down hard enough once in awhile that I have to recuperate a minute or two before getting back up.

And I have dealt with people who didn’t understand something in one way or another, so judged it based on their sight.  That can really be hurtful at times.  Sometimes those people are really close to my heart too, and that tends to hurt more than if it’s just some stranger.  Often, people who approach you about something also do so, only after they’ve gone to others in their life beforehand and gotten supportive nods for whatever it is.

Here’s the thing for me.  Firstly, I think going to a person if you have something on your mind is very important…but to that person first.  If you care about the person at all, that’s how it should be.  I understand the human condition enough to know that it’s not how it often is though.  Often, we want to validate our feelings first, before approaching this other person.  And sometimes we never go to the actual person at all…just to everyone else to talk about the person.

But when that happens to us, we have a choice.  First of all, we have to remember that how we deal with it has the potential to also hurt the offending person in ways.  Now some might say, “So what?”  But it matters to me.  I admit that in the moment of my own hurt feelings, I may not care so much, which is why I have to take a step back and breathe and put things back in perspective.

We’re all human.  There are misunderstandings…even among people who love each other.  There are judgments we make of each other in ways that may or may not be accurate.  But if you care about the person…talk to them.  Those inaccuracies make it even more important that you talk to them!  Don’t hold it in until it explodes, and don’t go talk to others first.  I may need to clarify on that, because sometimes when people are close, it does help probably to get another perspective…but not in the sense of going and complaining in judgment of the person…but going to a 3rd party out of love for the person, perhaps to give yourself a little better perspective…not just dumping complaints and judgments.  Mostly though, I think it’s a bad idea to talk to anyone else before going to that one person you need to be talking to.  That’s especially true when the people you’re talking to don’t really know the person you’re talking about.  They’ll probably go tell everyone else that they know how horrible that person is that you were telling them about, too.  I mean face it, it’s really difficult for a person to give an educated opinion about something that in essence, they know diddly squat about, other than another person’s emotional response perhaps.

As for me, I was just feeling as if I was getting my footing with some things…have been hurting horribly this week, but mostly keeping it to myself because I’m tired of complaining.  Still have appointments for the health and dental coming up.  But still…I felt like I was progressing in ways and had goals.  And then 3 things happened in 3 days…3 little (yet big) things people said to me that after the 3rd one, it was sort of like a ‘3 strikes and you’re out’ thing.  It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday.  Each one was like being poked in the shoulder in a sense, but after the 3rd one yesterday, it was more like a punch in the gut.

So…today I’m brushing myself off and on I go.  All I can do is the best I can do.  God knows what that is, and I’m trusting Him through it all.  And as for those, sometimes well-meaning people who can sometimes potentially hinder the progress, I’m praying for them…and for me to completely let that hurt go.  I confess, I haven’t done that yet.

Love and blessings,



About Anne Sikes

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us." (2 Cor. 4:7) Sharing the journey through daily thoughts and struggles, examination of Scripture, poetry, music and art.
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10 Responses to Maintaining Perspective Ain’t always easy

  1. lbtk says:

    If I’ve hurt someone, I’d rather they come to me first. I’ve found however, that some people like to “talk it up” and discuss whether it should be addressed, or whether forgiveness should be extended. Usually when this happens, I don’t hear it from them but through the proverbial grapevine. That hurts. And it’s not biblical. Loved reading your thoughts on this. Sandy

    • Anne Sikes says:

      I know what you mean, Sandy. And it hurts too, when you see people and think they’re looking at you differently, because know things that someone else has said about you…true or untrue. We shouldn’t let those type of things bother us…that’s true. But sometimes it’s hard not to. 🙂 Thanks! –Anne

  2. I can really identify with the things you said …sometimes it is people that you are not close with and then it usually ends up as ‘gossip’ and then you find out and it totally blows you away ..what you think about yourself and those other people that did the ‘gossiping’..and then it can be as you say someone very close to you making a negative comment to someone else and finding out my case years later and it really hurting that the person thought ‘I’ gave in to my MS and depression too easily..I should have tried harder’….this is going back a lot of years yet knowing they thought that..really hurts and I’m still contemplating whether to tell that ‘family’ member ‘why’ I ‘gave in’…I haven’t made up my mind yet whether to let sleeping dogs lie…..Hope your spirit lifts..Diane

    • Anne Sikes says:

      Thank you Diane. I’ll be okay. I’m in a bit of a valley at the moment, but even in the valley, God is still within reach. 🙂 You take care…and hope the rest of your week is blessed. –Anne

  3. Pink Ninjabi says:

    Love the honesty of this post. One of the challenges of assertion is also the reception of another. Each person is at such a different level of their faith, that at times I do find it wiser to pray for them as they are often blinded by their own circumstances. But you’re right, if we give them a chance to hear what we have to say, even if they disagree, it would help with matters directly rather than passive aggressively. It would also be nice if we can move on from conflicts and into better spaces for both ourselves and each other. All the best to you in your time of need. Ameen.


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