Love…probably the most craved thing by humans, and the most written about topic in songs and poetry. I was thinking about that Clint Black song, “Something That We Do”…love that song. One of the lines is, “Love isn’t someplace that we fall, it’s something that we do.” I find this to be very true.
Except in the case of arranged marriages, which do still exist in places, love is usually based on physical or emotional attraction…really both a lot of the time, I think. We’re looking for that feeling of being in love that overwhelms us and makes us feel all tingly and wonderful inside…what Thumper in “Bambi” called being ‘twitterpated’. Being twitterpated is a wonderful feeling. 🙂 But true love is so much more than that. When you really get down to it, within a committed relationship, there are just going to be times when that feeling isn’t there. Partly its because when you’re living together in the same house, you’re going to do and say things that irritate each other, or even downright make you angry from time to time. Those things, if they become what’s dwelt upon, can really mess up a good relationship. At the end of the day, the cap off the toothpaste, a towel left on the floor, loud snoring, an unmade bed or things like that…they just don’t matter. I mean, if one day you wake up and that person’s not there…are those things going to really matter?
Sometimes there are bigger issues that come up though…issues like financial difficulties, illness of one or the other, etc. Those things can really tear a relationship to shreds, if you do not make the choice to keep loving that person. Because in the end, love is not just a feeling…it’s a choice. It’s choosing to accept that person for their strengths, and in spite of their differences, and to love them through it. It’s treating them with gentleness and kindness even when you’d rather slap them up the side of the head sometimes…gently helping them become better in areas of weakness, and cherishing them for the strengths. It’s being willing to admit when you make a mistake or do or say something you shouldn’t have, to apologize, and if the other person has done something to hurt or offend you, being willing to forgive them and let it go.
I don’t know. What would make me think I know anything about love? When it comes down to it I’m a loser in that department. But am I? I think of the famous line from the movie “Forrest Gump”, that says, “I may not be a smart man, Jenny, but I know what love is.” Well, like Forrest, I know what love is. And sometimes it is work. The wonderful, ‘twitterpated’ feelings will come and go, and if you survive the harder and more unkind times, that love will be come solid and strong and rooted deeply.
Yes, some may say I’m just a loser in love. But I still believe in its existence…in the existence of true, nurturing, bonding love that lasts.
And now maybe I’ll go somewhere and cry. 🙂 But I’ll smile through my tears as I listen to this wonderful song.