I told my daughter the other day about how my friend faithnibbles had nominated me for an award. She thought that was really cool, and then asked, “What award was it?” I told her “The Sunshine Award”. Her response? Hysterical laughter. 🙂 I’m laughing now, thinking about it, but wasn’t laughing then. I admit…I was a little bit offended.
The truth is, it’s kind of funny. Now mind you, I really appreciate that nomination. It made me feel really good, at a time when I wasn’t feeling so good. But my daughter has seen me at my very worst, and a lot of that has been of late. I haven’t exactly been displaying a sunny disposition around here for awhile. I’ve been sick, and kind of melancholy…sad about my separation…concerned about some various things that I didn’t know how to work out…etc.
I come here and I try to present myself in the best way possible. That’s the truth. Even when I’m not talking about things that are very good that are going on, I’m often trying to say them in a way that is still going to sound the best way that I can say it. Know what I mean? Of course you do. You probably largely do the same thing. We’re human beings, and we’re not always at our best in life, no matter how much we might like for people to see us that way.
Truthfully, my demeanor, and my attitude has improved of late, even though I’ve still not been feeling at my best, and my world isn’t going the way I’d like it to entirely still. There have been amazing answers to prayer, new friends, this blog in which I can read other peoples thoughts and share my own. Even though I’ve been rather isolated, God has still been here with me and I have very much been reliant on His grace to get me through…and it is getting me through. And this outlet has helped too.
You know that song Brad Paisley wrote awhile back, “I’m So Much Cooler Online”? Well that is SO true. 🙂 Hopefully though, most of us know that our realities aren’t exactly the way they appear in these typewritten words. Does that make them untrue? NO! This blog is an honest expression of who I am. It just doesn’t always reveal everything. But it’s still real…it’s still me.
The truth of a ‘Sunshine Award’ for me, is that it would be more of a ‘Sunshine peering through a dark cloud’ award on some days…on a lot of my more recent days. 🙂 And I remain grateful still.
Love and blessings,