After talking to my eldest daughter yesterday morning, she agreed I needed to, and I made the decision to drop out of the school for now. I have to get well and get all my health needs taken care of before continuing…I want to really do well at this and put forth my very best into it. I did that for the first week, but my immune system is shot at the moment and I get sick way too easily and stay that way for too long. Have been exhausted from lack of sleep, and every time I lie down to start coughing so bad. I’m supposed to go get an xray to be sure I don’t have pneumonia or something. Was waiting for the callback on that appointment and haven’t heard yet, so have to call this afternoon to check on that.
Anyway, I won’t be able to start back to school until September, and I was disappointed it wasn’t sooner. But on the other hand, it give me a little more time to get everything taken care of and be well again, and better situated after this separation too. The director tried to convince me to stay in and just go to class and observe, but I don’t want to do that. I want to put my all into this thing…to get the most out of it in the end.
I will not see this as a failure. It’s just the way things happened…I did my best and sometimes there comes a point where you have to accept things as they are. That’s where I am. And honestly, it took a weight off of me, because being so sick and out of classes and worrying about how behind I’m getting and all…has been a heavy weight on my mind…and that doesn’t help a person get over being sick.
I am thankful, because I will not owe anything. I had barely begun the program, and all the money they received for my financial aid will be returned by them. I took my books back in, and the other supplies I had received from them. So I’m very, very thankful not to have to pay for this and then again when I go back later in the year.
This was a hiccup…a kind of big one…in my plans. But there it is…”the best laid plans of mice and men” and all of that. It has not killed my ambition or my motivation or my hopes and dreams. It’s just delayed some of them a bit, in favor of putting others more to the forefront.
Love and blessings,