Hopes and dreams. Chocolate Raspberry Dreams, as I titled the above abstract that I did some times ago. My life has been full of them. Sometimes my dreams didn’t happen because I didn’t reach for them. I was scared, or didn’t think I could reach them, so I just didn’t try. Or maybe I tried, but didn’t try hard enough. One or two discouraging moments came along, and I gave up.
Still, I’m not complaining about my life. I mean, my life has been hard in many ways. That’s true. I’ve had many deep and hurtful trials throughout. More than my share I’ve thought a lot of the time, and I even had a pastor who I counseled with once tell me that he agreed that my life was high drama. 🙂 Funny that I’m laughing as I type that. I certainly wasn’t laughing at the time.
But I have also had great joys in life, and although my plans didn’t go the way I had planned, or hoped, or dreamed in ways, they went beautifully in ways…even through trials. Because there are always blessings to be found amid trials. Sometimes you don’t see them right away, but they’re there, nonetheless.
Going back to the topic of dreams though, there are still other times when I’ve tried with all my might…done everything I could, but circumstances just froze the plans, just like the photo of the frozen river above. Ted took that photo when we were going through the mountains of Colorado back in late 2007, and enhanced it with an HDR thing in photoshop. It’s such a beautiful spot. We were driving down the winding mountain roads and saw that and Ted pulled over and excitedly jumped out of the truck to take some shots of it. There that river sat in its beauty…ready to flow…ready to move on to other places…but frozen in its tracks.
I’ve felt so much like that river in my life at times. I get these big dreams, and am so excited about them. Then something comes along…sometimes not just one thing but a series of things. I try to fight…try to ‘flow on’, with all my might. But eventually the ice surrounds me and I have no choice but to stop. Frozen in my tracks.
I can’t help but wonder sometimes why it is that some people can achieve their dreams, and others just never seem to get anywhere with them. Is God picking on me? I’ve honestly wondered that at times. But I just don’t have the answers, except that I have to wait for the ice to melt, and then just let that river flow on to its destination.
In the meantime though, I think it’s important to remember that there is still great beauty in that frozen river. Even, somehow enhanced beauty. I don’t feel that about my life right now, but I hope it. I hope that somehow, though my hopes and dreams are frozen at the moment, and I feel stopped in my tracks through circumstances beyond my control, that there is still beauty to be seen with my life. I hope so with all my heart.
Love and blessings,